


Nature over Nurture

by pickwicklingpapers



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: 5 things sarah manning could have been, F/F, F/M, and one thing she is, i have my reasons, i never thought this day would come, i'm actually doing a 5+1, kira manning is the reason why sarah manning exists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3662658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickwicklingpapers/pseuds/pickwicklingpapers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Sarah Manning is raised differently, does Sarah Manning still exist?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

i. Sarah Manning does not exist. The embryo never split. She is the proclone.  

Throughout her life, she'd known that she was different. Known that, in her, were the answers to a thousand unknown questions. Questions of morality, ethics, base instinct and scientific fact.

She was five when she'd learnt the truth about herself. Sat infront of the fire, she'd clung to the words spoken by her parents, comprehending enough to realise that the man she called Father was not, and that what they called her was true. She was precious. She was the most precious experiment in the world.

She was seven when she learnt about the others. Those who didn't know the truth about themselves, those who didn't know how special they were. 

Eight when she started asking questions and was rewarded with layers of binary code. Ten when her parents died in a fire and a new handler took over. Eleven when she learnt that she was property. Owned. Copyrighted. Eleven when she detached herself and banished the words mother, father and love from the dictionary.

Twelve when she stole Ethan's notebooks and looked for her sisters. For the science.

Cosima, Danielle, Jennifer, Katja, Elizabeth.

Canada, USA, France, England, Australia.

The list went on. Bits of her scattered across the globe. Every clone present. Every clone correct. Every clone unconsciously answering questions of life and death, health and illness, nature and nurture.

She was fifteen when she understood completely the beauty and scope of the project - its importance and sheer magnificence. Sixteen when she signed her life fully over to the institute and its findings, learning everything she could with a thirst for knowledge matched only by the passion of Cosima Niehaus. Clone geniuses - did the others not try or did they not have the capability? She worked for weeks on answers to impossible questions. 

At twenty she was leading the field - the clone expert on cloning. Her life was empty but for the science. Science was order. Science was control. It amazed and fascinated her. The sheer variation in jobs, lifestyles, choices, sexual orientation was fascinating. The pattern, the reasoning, could be found. And she would find it.

At twenty one she learnt that there are anomalies in every experiment. A mistake during procedure could have consequences. Fertile consequences. At twenty one she watched from a hospital bed as her daughter was removed from her arms and placed in the care of a handler. She would grow up, monitored and unaware, just like every other subject. At twenty one, she looked on helplessly and told herself: for science.

By twenty two she took birth control. At twenty two, all warmth left from childhood had been removed along with her parents and her child.

By twenty five, she was cold, cruel and calculating, with a reputation to match.

She was twenty eight as she watched Elizabeth Childs (detective, Canadian, clone) figure it out with the help of a German and a little push from her. There were other, unaware clones who could still studied. Some could be allowed to know. It was time to see how a select few would react to the truth.

She watched the security footage of a tearful Childs jump in front of a train, bag, shoes and coat neatly folded on the platform. Twenty eight as she watched her sister succumb to emotion. Twenty eight as she felt disgust for those not strong enough to see the beauty in what was being done. In what had been started twenty eight years ago.

She’s still twenty eight as she watches Alison Hendrix spiral into drink, drugs and depression, accusing wrong handler after wrong handler as the paranoia gets too bad. As her children are taken and she is placed in institute after institute. As she crumbles without support and only her husbandhandler stays. Watches as Cosima Niehaus makes excuses and leaves for school - back to microscopes and labs and the cute French girl who isn't as innocent as first thought. Cosima never suspects, of course.  It was a shame, she reflected, that Cosima did not really know. Of all the clones, she was the most likely to understand.

Twenty eight as she watches a select self-aware few sign away their insignificant little lives, full of fear. Watched as they signed a contract full of lies. Dyad already owned them. Now it was just voluntarily.

She’s twenty eight when she looks at the ink drying on the paper, smiles, and begins to experiment.

* * *

ii. Sarah Manning was given to the church.  
Sarah is a good Christian name.  
Sarah tries to be a good Christian girl.

Sarah carved her back, blood rushing like wind through her wings. The deeper she cut, the purer she would be. Her scars showed her light, her goodness. The darkness had been taken from her, starting with her hair and ending with the copies.

Danielle. Janika. Aryanna. Katja. Beth.

Each imposter had been had been destroyed. Beth Childs had seen the light before Sarah had had to show her, and had taken her own life.

Pathetic.

Beautiful.

Sarah. The wife of Abraham. The mother of Isaac. Sarah wondered if God would ever give her a child. She hoped that He would. She tried to please him so that He would. She liked children. They meant what they said and they didn’t lie like adults did. Like the copies did. They weren’t sinners.

Disgusting.

Unholy.

She would have to be pure before God gave her a child. She would have to purge the Earth of the abominations before she became worthy of His attention. That was what Tomas said. He told her, when he took her from the nuns who screamed hate, that she was the original. This was her purpose.

The nuns had hated her. Hated when she took things apart to see how they worked – like the clock or the bench or the chickens. They told her that she was a child of the devil. An abomination. Tomas agreed.

Tomas told her what she had to do to earn her status. He told how God would accept her as his child, but only once she had fulfilled her purpose. She’d completed her mission in Europe – following the red devil to America had shown her a new chapter of the devil’s children. But she was the original. They had stolen her image, made her unworthy. And in order to cleanse herself, they must die.

One shot.

Through their pretty little heads.

The Barbie lay, decapitated beside her as she took aim, its braids spread in a perverse halo. She had tried to kill the other one last week – the doll with the fringe – but the children had been there. Children were of God. They did not have the blood of the devil. Sarah could not kill them. She could wait.

Heaven was forever.

She took aim, feeling the breath of God blow through her hair. He was with her on these missions, showing the right way to splatter the walls, creating pretty patterns in the red. The braided infidel leant down, peering through a microscope, destroying God with her fiddling. Sarah took the shot, saw the hole appear and the evil leak out in red liquid. One step closer to pure. The woman with hair like dirty curled gold ran over, tears down her face. Sarah felt no pity. Sarah did not feel pity. The blonde would be much better, much cleaner, without the copy by her side.  
___________________________

The police arrived fifteen minutes later, to find a hole in the window of the building opposite and a Barbie, hair braided impeccably, hanging from the ceiling. It turned slowly, plastic smile beaming as it hung from its noose.

* * *

iii. Sarah Manning takes the money and runs.

$75,000.

Enough to take Kira. Enough to get out of the country. More than enough to get to England. Enough to get some not-so-legal passports. Enough to disappear once they got there.

£50,000

Hell, that was enough to buy a shitty house.

Sarah drove towards the house, mind made up. She’d get Kira, call Felix, and arrange a meet up point somewhere along the way. Somewhere secluded.

Iceland maybe.

It was sad, yeah. She was leaving her (clones?) (siblings?) (sisters?) behind, but Sarah Manning hadn’t got this far in life without prioritising. Maybe someone was killing them off, but no one knew Sarah Manning. They never would, and that was going to keep Kira safe. But she only if they got out of there now.

She’d take Felix – she owed him that much. He’d love watching Eurovision again even if he hated her for everything else. But she could deal. She’d dealt before. With Vic, with Cal, with Siobhan. With bleeding germans and dead bodies. With difficult detectives and police enquiries. If she could drink soap and burn her insides, if she could get herself away from Vic, then she could leave Alison and Cosima, because they weren’t her family. The advantage of being an orphan is that family is chosen and Sarah had chosen hers a long time ago. It consisted of two people and she would protect them with her life.

She’d done the hardest part – getting Detective Childs reinstated – and she learnt a few things along the way. Such as the correct way to dispose of a body. She was dangerous and now she was retreating back into the darkness. Anyone coming after her should think twice, because Sarah Manning would die for her child.

Alison and Cosima would be fine. They had each other. Cosima to do the science and Alison to be banker. They’d be fine. And Sarah’d seen Alison’s place; she could spare the money. If not, they’d most likely be killed by the sniper who had killed the german. It was sad, but realistically it was unavoidable. If Sarah stayed, she’d only be adding herself to the hit list and, by default, Kira. She was a blood relation and therefore in danger. It wasn’t the best way about it, sneaking off in the middle of the night, but then again…

Sarah Manning had never been known for doing the right thing.

There was one simple reason: the right thing was often the worst choice. The choice which gave moral satisfaction, but caused the loss of something greater. And seeming as the only ‘greater’ in this scenario was her daughter, Sarah wasn’t about to take chance. So Cosima and Soccer Bitch had to go. It would be a loss and a financial blow, but she was sure they could cope.

They may be genetically identical, but that was all. They looked similar. They had the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth. But they weren’t the same. They weren’t Sarah Manning. There was only one of her.

* * *

iv. Sarah Manning signs the contract.  
She is an experiment.  
They have taken Kira.  
She is an experiment.

Cosima was with Delphine, still attempting to crack the code hidden in their DNA when Sarah took the lift up with Paul. She stared at the wall, the cracks in his face, at the cobweb in the corner. Anything to distract her from the rising tide of fear and panic. She was usually good at pushing it down, keeping the feelings low, but Rachel had found her weakness. Sarah Manning would do anything to protect her daughter. Even sign herself over to Dyad.

And Rachel knew it.

As much as she’d love to wipe that smug smirk off of the bastard’s face, she had to admit; Rachel was good. She had them where she wanted, but still managed to offer some leeway with these contracts. No monitors, six monthly check ups. A fully paid job with research opportunities in return for ideas. They weren’t bad deals. She’d had no doubt that hers would be different. She’d caused too much trouble to be let off that easily but maybe she would get away with monthly examinations and the loss of her ovaries.

The door pinged open. The smug bitch sat behind her desk, a chair pulled out. Approaching, Sarah saw the pen and paper resting on the table. Striding forward, she took a deep breath. This was it. Her one chance to bluff on an empty hand.

“I want this absolutely clear.” she said, head straight, staring her clone straight in the eyes. “If I sign this, Kira is not to be touched. She’s no part of this. You can have me, but I get her.”

“Everything will be legal.” Rachel replied, nodding toward the contract. “I promise you that much. And you can trust my word.” she assured her, “I have no interest in breaking it. I have what I want, and I always will.”

Sarah sat, the thick paper stiff between her fingers. The pen trembled in her hand as she picked it up. One last look at the face opposite told her everything she needed to know. So familiar, the mirror image quirked an eyebrow.

“And?” it said.

If she didn’t sign it now, she would never escape. She would be stuck in an endless cycle of running and hiding. That wasn’t a life. That wasn’t what Kira needed. The ink flowed smoothly from pen to paper as she signed her deal with the devil. She only hoped that she got bonus points for her motivation.

Rachel took the paper, wafting it impatiently to dry it. A sharp ring cut through the silence, making Sarah, nerves on fire, jump. Clone phone.

 _“Hey, listen,”_ came Cosima’s tiny voice. _“Don’t do it. There’s a code. In the DNA. It’s a copyright. Sarah, the contract’s bullshit. They own us.”_

Sarah dropped the phone with shaking hands, looking up at her clone’s face. A thousand thoughts rushed through her head – only one picking up any track among the half formed plans and hair-brained escape strategies. Kira.

“I did promise that I would keep my word.” Said Rachel, standing and smoothing down her skirt. “I had hoped to keep the charade going a little longer, but it looks like this is it.” Sarah stared at her in shock. “Sarah Manning, you are official property of project LEDA and the Dyad Institute. And I’m afraid that we’re going to have to take you in.” She motioned to the suited man at Sarah’s side. Instinct kicked in, Sarah fighting tooth and nail until the needle entered her neck and the room faded.

“ _Sarah? Are you okay? Sara-“  
_ ______________________

Lights.

Noise.

Pricks so sharp that they burst through the woolly cloud of drugs.

Straps.

Sarah came to, restrained in a hospital gown. The strap around her head prevented her from observing the room, and the restraints on her wrists, arms and chest stopped her from removing the bite guard.  Breathing deeply, she forced her body to calm, mind racing a million miles a minute. A man in scrubs appeared above her. Removing his surgical mask, he smiled reassuringly at her.

“Not to worry Ms. Manning – we’re just about to start your procedure. In the meantime, we’re just finishing up the last surgery.” He smiled. “It was most remarkable. Very interesting daughter you’ve got.”

Breath coming in short sharp bursts, Sarah turned her head, struggling against the restraint until she could glimpse the small body lying on the table next to her. Eyes closed, breathing calmly, it would have looked like her little girl was sleeping if not for the man elbow deep in blood, hands searching inside her daughter.

Screaming through the guard, fighting for all she was worth, Sarah Manning had a revelation. It was over. Rachel Duncan had won.

Sarah Manning closed her eyes and gave in.

 

_(_ _There’s a story told at the Dyad Institute. About the wasted woman with the dead eyes. She’s not quite human anymore, they say. She looks straight through the walls, emotionless. She’ll do whatever you tell her to, no questions asked. They say that it started with promises and smiles and ended in a white room with people cutting until there was nothing left to cut. They say that’s she’s an experiment that got pushed too far. That she was the anomaly. That she’s a leftover. That she won’t speak, except to say one word._

_Kira.)_

 

* * *

v. Sarah Manning was adopted happily.  
She was educated well. She tried hard at school.  
She has a high end job and a house in the country with her children and her husband.  
Who is her monitor.  
Not that she knows.  


Sarah Manning is a success story.

Ask anyone.

Adopted at the age of five into a middle class family living in Sussex, she flourished at the local grammar school, earning herself a scholarship to Earlescliffe - a fairly local boarding school with excellent results. Emerging well educated and with some of the best A Levels in the country, she took dentistry at university - a solid job with good prospects.

In her second year, she met Mark; a quiet, unassuming third year who was studying law. They talked, went out for a few drinks, and because it was the sensible thing to do, five years later she was walking down the aisle dressed in white.

Three years after that, she opened up her own practice in Guilford and moved to a small village nearby. The business flourishes, and Mark takes up a position as joint partner at a local law firm. He is the local solicitor and she is the dentist. They are well known and well liked.

A year later, at twenty-eight, she becomes pregnant with her first child - a little girl with her father's hair and her mother's eyes. Names are tossed around like before Jessica settles like a blanket, wrapping up the small child.

(In a moment of deliriousness, Sarah considered the name Kira. She dismissed it immediately. No respectable young girl would have a name such as Kira. She may have voted for Nick Clegg in the last general election, but she wasn't that liberal.)

Jessica grows, as does Sarah's stomach because two years is the ideal age gap between siblings. This time it's a boy. John, sometimes called Jack, loves to wander. He's curious about everything - her, his sister, the dog down the street. She sometimes wonders if there's something wrong with his lungs, but the doctor assures her that there's no asthma present.

Her life is comfortable - she has money, a house in the country, a family that gives a good appearance and, occasionally, she is happy. She keeps busy - with work, children, clubs, activities. She has a fulfilled life, and when she collapses down in front of university challenge, she feels a sense of fulfilment. At 40 she has a successful business, a stable marriage, and two wonderful children, the eldest of which has just started secondary school.

The only thing that mars the otherwise perfect dream is the nightmares. Sarah has a recurring nightmare. In the night, men come and experiment on her. She checks in the morning, but she can never find any evidence. No bruises, no electrodes, no blood under her fingernails. Her husband holds her tight and assures her that it is just a dream. She believes him.

                             Why wouldn't she?

* * *

vi.

It all comes down to this:

If Sarah Manning had been infertile, she never would have known.

If Sarah Manning had never met Cal, she never would have had a daughter. She never would have stood on that platform. She would have never met Beth. She would have been of no consequence.

If Sarah Manning didn’t have a daughter, Dyad would not have known that she was fertile. She would have been instantaneously forgettable. Another clone to be observed and toyed with.

If she had been shot by Helena, she would have been nothing.

Insignificant, ignorant Sarah Manning would have been ignored, living her petty life with all the drama it deserved.

If Sarah Manning wasn’t a twin, she would have been Rachel Duncan.

Sarah Manning could have been Alison, Beth, Cosima, Helena. Sarah Manning could have been just another clone.

Instead, everything happens just so and Sarah Manning – strong, hard, independent Sarah Manning, _fertile_ Sarah Manning – becomes a force to be reckoned with.

Instead, she finds her daughter, fakes her death, stands her ground, stops running.

 

_(Up yours, Proclone)_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had these saved on a word document for a while now, and crieshavoc said they'd be interested in seeing them. Basically, it's my reasoning for the choices that I made in Nature over Nurture.
> 
> And how Kira Manning is the center of her mother's world.

To write this, I had to answer and ask a few questions. It’s never been clear what life Amelia’s child was intended for. It’s never been clear who the original is. It’s never been clear whether or not Kira Manning is an accident or a creation.

From what Amelia overheard of the conversation, it’s always seemed to me that her child was to be the original Rachel Duncan. Why else would they hire a surrogate mother rather than just hijack an IVF treatment? They were planning to raise that child theirselves ("a child raised by neolution"). Rachel Duncan only exists because the experiment split in half and one became Sarah Manning. Rachel’s nothing more than the replacement for a lost clone.

That’s another reason why I don’t see Sarah as the original. For her to be the original, Helena must be too. And besides, they would have to fertilise many (identical) embryos from two parents. Or split on embryo into many, many cells before differentiation (and there’s not much time there. It’s practically impossible to separate that many cells that quickly without causing damage. And you would need a lot – there’s a lot of clones out there and not all embryos would survive. Some would be discarded as faulty. You always make more than you need). It would be much easier to take cells from one person and do it that way. I think she was the intended self-aware clone, but not the original.

Then there’s the question of Sarah’s fertility. Is she fertile by design or mistake? I've always assumed that they’d made the clones infertile to minimise outside factors and lessen the impact of independent variables. Especially because most partners are monitors – signing up to date someone is one thing, but children is the next level. So is Sarah fertile because she’s a twin? Or was there a mistake in the genetic code? I can’t really answer that without knowing if Helena’s fertile (which I’m sure we’ll find out next series, what with Helena and Grace and all). Assuming she is, because otherwise the Proletheans wouldn't want her, then it must have done on purpose. Maybe the Duncan's wanted the self aware clone to be fertile? Maybe someone forgot to add or delete some base pairs? I don't know. But Sarah’s ability to have children is a big point – it’s a source of jealousy (particularly in Rachel and Alison) but it’s also the plot starter.

To me, Kira Manning is the lynchpin of the whole thing. She’s the tipping point.

She’s the reason why Sarah’s on that platform – why she sees Beth, becomes her and starts the whole thing rolling. Why she finds out about the experiment and fights back. Sarah’s motive during the first series is Kira. Why become Beth? For the money. Why get the money? For Kira. Why go to sign that contract? For Kira. It’s all for Kira. Without her, everything falls apart.

Without Kira, Dyad don’t know that she can have children – she’s not important to them anymore. Sarah doesn’t get the same development because she doesn’t have the same motivation. The driving forces are different. Without Kira, Rachel wouldn’t be interested in Sarah. Sarah’s fertility is what sets her apart. Maybe she’d attract a bit of interest for having fallen off the grid, but it’s Sarah’s fertility is what makes her scientifically interesting, is what Rachel’s just that little bit jealous of. Sarah goes to sign that contract for her daughter. It’s not Felix or Mrs. S or Art that Rachel takes – it’s Kira. Because Kira is Sarah Manning’s weakness.

It’s Kira who pulls Helena in, Kira who gets Mrs S and Sarah to even think about working together. Without Kira, Sarah Manning is nothing. She is just another clone – another woman trapped in a life – and maybe she loves it, maybe she hates it. Maybe, without a child, she doesn’t go off track. Maybe she stays unknown. Maybe they find her and she gets a handler. Maybe Helena finds her first. Maybe Helena shoots. Even if she did find Beth, did go for the money, I don’t think she’d stay. I think she’d cut her losses and run from Art – after all, it’s not like she needs the money to get her daughter back. 

Any which way, Sarah Manning is not Sarah Manning. The story doesn’t happen. There’s no motive. Not without Kira.


End file.
